Helping Managers Set the Right Boundaries When Banter Becomes Bullying

In time for Anti-Bullying Week (10–14 November) 

We all know that friendly banter can make work enjoyable. A bit of humour can lighten the mood, build connections and strengthen team spirit. But what happens when that banter crosses the line and starts to make someone uncomfortable? 

As a manager, you’re often the first to see or hear it. Knowing where to draw the line and how to respond is vital to keeping your team safe, respected and productive. 

When Banter Stops Being “Just a Laugh” 

The line between light-hearted joking and bullying can be thin, but the impact on those involved can be significant. A few warning signs that banter has gone too far include: 

• The “joke” is aimed at one person more often than others 
• The person on the receiving end looks uncomfortable or tries to avoid the situation 
• The jokes involve personal topics such as someone’s appearance, beliefs or background 
• You hear “it’s just a bit of fun” used as an excuse 

If someone feels singled out or humiliated, even if that wasn’t the intention, it can count as bullying or harassment. It’s not about what was meant, but how it was received. 

Setting the Right Boundaries 

Managers set the tone for what is acceptable at work. If you brush off inappropriate comments or fail to address behaviour that crosses the line, it sends a message that it’s tolerated. Instead: 

• Lead by example. Keep your own language and humour respectful. 
• Intervene early. If you overhear comments that could make someone uncomfortable, step in straight away. A quiet word can prevent things from escalating. 
• Make expectations clear. Remind your team that humour should never come at someone else’s expense. 
• Encourage openness. Create an environment where people feel able to speak up if something bothers them. 

How to Handle Complaints or Concerns 

If someone raises a concern about banter or bullying, take it seriously. Listen carefully, avoid judgment and gather the facts. Even if the issue seems minor, it’s important to show that all concerns are handled respectfully. 

Make sure you: 

• Keep the conversation private and confidential 
• Reassure the person that they did the right thing by speaking up 
• Look into the matter promptly and fairly 
• Seek HR advice if you’re unsure about next steps 

Remember, how you handle these situations says a lot about your leadership and your business values. 

Building a Respectful Culture 

Preventing bullying isn’t just about reacting when things go wrong. It’s about creating a culture where respect is the norm. Regular team check-ins, clear communication and up-to-date training all help to reinforce expectations. 

Anti-Bullying Week is a great time to remind your team that everyone deserves to feel safe and valued at work. 

Resources that can help  

If you’re unsure how to handle these issues or want to strengthen your policies, our Dakota Blue Academy has ready-to-use guides and templates on Harassment and Bullying in the Workplace. These practical documents help you deal with complaints fairly and keep your business compliant. 

Join Dakota Blue Academy today to access our full suite of HR resources and make sure your managers are fully equipped to handle sensitive workplace issues.