Building Trust in Leadership | The Marble Jar Theory Explained

Do you think you are a trusted leader? 

Most leaders would say yes. But trust is not something you get because of your job title and it is not something you can demand. Trust is something your people decide to give you, based on how you show up day after day. 

This is where the Marble Jar Theory gives us a simple way to look at trust. 

Brené Brown uses the image of a marble jar to describe how trust is really built between people. Imagine a clear jar sitting quietly on a shelf. Every time someone acts with care, keeps their word or shows up when it matters, a marble drops in. You might not hear it. You might barely notice it. But over time, the jar begins to fill. 

Trust grows in those moments. Not through grand gestures, but through everyday behaviour that say: you matter, you can rely on me, I am being straight with you. 

When trust is broken, a marble comes out. Sometimes it is one small slip. Sometimes it is something bigger. Either way, the jar never fills by accident and it can empty faster than we expect. 

Leadership works in exactly the same way. 

Trust is built in the small moments 

In small and medium sized businesses, leadership is personal. Your team sees you every day. They notice how you behave when things are calm and when things are messy. They remember how you speak to them under pressure and how you act when no one is watching. 

Trust is not built through one big announcement or a rousing speech at the team meeting. It is built through lots of small moments that often feel ordinary at the time. 

Things like remembering that someone’s mum has been unwell and asking how she is. Backing your team when a customer complains, even when it would be easier to distance yourself. Being honest and saying, “I do not know either, let us figure it out together.” 

Each of these moments puts a marble into the jar. 

Titles do not earn trust, behaviour does 

One of the biggest mistakes we see in businesses is assuming that leadership trust comes with the role. It does not. People do not trust a job title. They trust consistency. 

They trust leaders who do what they say they will do. Leaders who listen and actually act on what they hear. Leaders who are fair, even when decisions are difficult. 

Equally, trust can be damaged very quickly. Ignoring issues you promised to deal with. Speaking one way in public and another in private. Failing to challenge poor behaviour because it feels uncomfortable. Each of these moments removes a marble from the jar. 

And rebuilding trust always takes longer than breaking it. 

Why this matters so much in your business 

When trust is strong, people are more open, more engaged and more willing to go the extra mile. They speak up sooner when something is going wrong. They take responsibility rather than hiding mistakes. 

When trust is low, everything feels harder. Conversations become guarded. Problems are hidden. Good people quietly disengage and often start looking elsewhere. 

As a leader, you set the tone. Your behaviour tells people whether it is safe to trust you or not. 

Filling the jar, one marble at a time 

Building trust does not require perfection. It requires awareness. It is about noticing the everyday opportunities you have to either add a marble or take one out. 

Ask yourself regularly how you are showing care. How you are being honest, even when the message is uncomfortable. How reliable you are being with your time, your promises and your decisions. 

These moments rarely make a big noise. But over time, they are what define you as a leader. 

So the real question is not whether you think you are trustworthy. 

It is whose marble jar you are filling today. 

Strengthen your leadership 

If you want to build stronger trust, confidence and consistency in your leadership, our Dakota Blue Academy subscription gives you practical guidance, tools and support that work in the real world of small and medium sized businesses.  

Join us today and take your leadership further.